The human looked sad and lonely today, and I went to provide comfort out of the goodness of my heart. She does try me with her lack of understanding, but I am forgiving of all imperfections.

How much more obvious can you get?

At first it appeared that her depression was such that she had given up on living, for she had turned all the lights off and was lying motionless on the bed. I did not wish to appear too forward and began by announcing my presence at the foot of the bed until I could be certain that she had noticed me. At last I heard a noise. Success!

When she seemed impervious to the gentle massaging of my soft paws, I knew drastic measures had to be taken. If I jumped up on her chest and put my face in her face it would be impossible for her not to notice me! At last she reached up a hand and gave me the sweet bliss that comes when a human scratches you behind the ears. Ah, yes, that was it. But the hand seemed tired and sluggish. Perhaps it was time for more encouragement.

 My face in your face.

Alas, my repeated face-nosing efforts have resulted in an unceremonious toss from the bed. The human's depression must be more serious than I thought. I will have to try again until she remembers that she has to live, if for no other reason than I do not have thumbs to feed myself. It may take me the rest of the night, but I will persevere.

 Rejected.